Sheesh I'm horny!
 
Musings of a frustrated phreak
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What have I done?
Posted:Apr 24, 2018 1:08 am
Last Updated:Apr 26, 2018 2:53 am
9 Views

I've tried a little "social experiment" with my profile lately. I have always just used the profile to meet women or couples. I might have met a single male once or twice but those two gentlemen were exceptions to the rule. A few days ago I turned my profile on to look at guys. I also turned on the IM and actually answered a few.
Oh my.
How interesting.
I have mixed feelings on the result.
As I say on my profile, I'm a different person. 5 years ago, when I was here before, I would have been like a kid in a candy store. I have had sooooo many responses I had to reboot my phone from the alerts.
Some very sexy younger men.... finely chiseled bodies with tattoos.
A few older men with well written profiles and equally intriguing messages.
An incredibly sexy chocolate couple.
I have exchanged numbers and texted with a few but...with the exception of a fellow Whovian...and a very distant gentleman ... I'm just not as interested as I want to be.
It's been three years and as much as I crave the touch of another... I have met two people in the real world that I am most interested in.
One male, one female, both distant in different ways.
The male, my gentleman cowboy/biker, send mixed signals to a blind signal reader.I treasure our conversational squirrel hunts fueled by 4:20 pipe hits and filled with laughter. I melt when he simply says "Yes Ma'am" in his sexy deep country voice. I want to kiss him so badly but...red haired waitress.
The female, a businesswoman/bar owner. I noticed her the first and only other time I went to her club.At the time I know she was in a relationship but that was 3ish years ago and I was dating someone at the time. I didn't actually meet her until a few weeks back when I joined old friends for dinner at her bar. They frequent the lesbian bar she owns and have known her for years. She and I spent half the evening just talking... a mini- conversational squirrel hunt. Her parting hug was...extended. I'll be making the drive again just to see if this might be a mutual interest thing.
Remember, I have NO GAME!!
So here is the thing, I have spent the last twelve years, since my divorce, avoiding emotional attachments. if I sensed a case of "The Feels" starting to catch...on either side...I ran.
I'm tired of running.
I am a strong independent woman who has carried a thick coat of armor around my heart/mind/soul.
Armor get's heavy.
Do I take a chance and see if anything develops with one of the wonderful people I've connected with during my experiment?
I hate being self aware.
0 Comments
I miss kissing
Posted:Apr 19, 2018 10:47 pm
Last Updated:Apr 24, 2018 9:49 pm
33 Views

You can tell what type of lover some is by their kiss. The first tentative moment when your eyes meet and lock. The slight lowering of the eyelids as you feel the rush... nipples stiffen and you involuntarily lightly lick your lips.
Mmmmm
The touch of a hand as you're pulled closer.
There is a moment, just before, when I realize a kiss is coming and I feel the need to suppress a light moan.
There is a moment when your lips touch... eyes still locked until the passion spills over and eyes close. ful and light... tentative tongues.. shared breath and the taste of wine or coffee or the hint of smoke... lingering.
I miss exploring hands and tongues...clothing shed in layers... passion interrupted with fits off laughter due to nervous fingers fumbling on buttons or stubborn zippers.
I miss pulling back...saving something for the next time, building the anticipation.
I miss a good old fashid make-out session.
1 comment
I hate my life.
Posted:Apr 19, 2018 2:10 am
Last Updated:Apr 26, 2018 6:10 pm
36 Views

I only recently opened my profile search to include men. I did it because of a man I have met in real life. I am usually a 60/40 mix on dating, more women than men. I met a cowboy/biker/drool inducing tasty morsel of a man and he HAS NO IDEA I EXIST!!
It's frustrating as hell. I don't usually respond to men (especially cowboys) but this guy has gotten under my skin.
I know he is interested in someone else, he feels comfortable enough around me to ask dating advise like how to know when to ask someone out. It kills me.
So I have spent the last month building my "immunity" to him. When I feel myself about to slip I just repeat my immunity mantra " Red headed waitress, red headed waitress" and the urge subsides.
Then tonight it happened. I was scrolling down and saw an interesting guy. I was on my phone so the pic was small but I always read the profile before perusing the pics. One line in and I realized it was him.
I was mortified and like a dork I had to immediately back out and sign off.
Dumbass me forgot to read his profile.
I hate my life.
Before you start saying "Make a move, let him know"
He works for me. I have spent too many years in the corporate world and I just CAN'T.
I am a flirt and have embarrassed myself on more than one occasion but as I said, he is interested in someone else.
I have learned something about myself though. I need to know that I am found sexy/ attractive/ desirable or I lose interest. He is a true gentleman... too much of one.

Ugh, I hate my life...
0 Comments
Yes I said it, I have cancer.
Posted:Apr 19, 2018 12:37 am
Last Updated:Apr 23, 2018 6:00 pm
46 Views

I have had numerous emails and IM's asking me to meet. on my profile I said that health issues have changed my perspective on life. Let me explain.
I think it's time to introduce you to LJ, Chachi and Amber.
4/13 was the one year anniversary of my diagnosis of Kidney Cancer. On May30th I had surgery to remove my left kidney ( 6lb tumor named Chachi) and I am currently taking a targeted oral chemotherapy treatment. I mention this because the manner in which my cancer was detected is now a case study due to the unusual manner in which it presented. Kidney cancer is usually found quite late due to its tendency to spread to either the brain or the bones.
Mine was found because of a Vaginal Lesion...yep, my super vagina has the power to stop cancer in its tracks! That's some powerful P.
I have a recurring lesion just inside my vaginal opening. The lesion tends to develop a balloon like hematoma t(about the size of your thumb) that just sits there...in my vagina. I named him LJ, for Little Juicy.
LJ sits in a spot that bumps him up against my G Spot with each and every step. My Dr says as long as I refrain from penetration I am okay. I only have one more round (after my current one) and hopefully I will be through with treatment,
I currently cannot play "completely" but to be honest....I could use a hot make out session to burn off some steam.
Amber is the name I have given my asshole. Ill tell you more about her at a later date
I don't want to misrepresent.
2 Comments
It's about time I wrote some thing here
Posted:Apr 16, 2018 9:15 pm
Last Updated:Apr 18, 2018 11:14 pm
115 Views

Hello all
I'm Denise and thanks for taking the time to actually check out my blog. As my profile says I have been here before and have been successful in meeting a few friends and lovers. I have always had profile handles that involved the "princess" or "Diva" descriptor in the name, not anymore. I'm different than before, more introspective and self aware.
I'm still a Phreak
I once described myself as a sexual cicada... destined to spend long periods in hibernation only to awaken and completely devour all in my path. I've been in hibernation for almost 3 years so look out... the beast is waking from her slumber
and I'm Famished.
4 Comments

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Most Recent Comments by Others

Post Poster Post Date
Yes I said it, I have cancer. (3)C00kieDuster
Apr 22, 2018 11:54 am
I miss kissing (1)BigDaddyRick62
Apr 20, 2018 9:18 am
It's about time I wrote some thing here (4)pocogato12
Apr 17, 2018 7:35 am