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Just The Tip?  

DiscreetAk31 33F
18 posts
3/29/2022 6:38 am
Just The Tip?

Say you met someone on here or not - that was in a relationship and they cheated on their significant other without remorse. At least it seemed that way.. irrelevant but how do you feel about that person now? Do you think that a good or strong relationship is attainable? That is quite a character flaw.. to know someone can be so cold and cheat- then have the audacity to promise you it will be different…
But then what If they are in a relationship that feels more like an emotional prison everyday? That they are so wrapped up- legally (house, cars, pets) and just kind of started inching to the door recently.. does that change your mind and help you move past the awful circumstance and start to build this great new relationship?

I don’t want to just bounce around to whoever, I want to FIND my forever. But that seems impossible, everyone is so different.. maybe there should be a 3 year rule on relationships. Every 3 years you have to sit down and do a formal review- gauge each others actual happiness and then collectively decide if you want to renew for 1-3 years.


New2Midlo 54M
1075 posts
3/30/2022 4:29 pm

If someone can be unfaithful, with zero emotional impact to them, once, they can do it again. Period.


rdy2try4 58F  
3330 posts
3/31/2022 6:51 am

I have friends that were cheated on. NONE of them liked it and NONE of them said, "Hey let's do it again and invite me." The idea that humans are not monogamous is true for some, but not for all. If it was so great people wouldn't be like you and me - I don't want 50 men in 50 days either. There are many that will try to justify it with the financial situation or kids, but all you are doing is teaching the children bad behavior (and they do see it even if you don't believe it), and WHEN you get caught it will cost you more than just money. It hurts people and anyone that wants to hurt someone they claim they love by just getting it somewhere else and not telling you, I bet those same people would hate it if they were the one cheated on as well as betrayal is the worst thing to recover from. Instead of just a divorce you now carry the title of cheating b4stard or cheating whore.


nsnguystill 71M
428 posts
3/31/2022 9:30 am

"But then what If they are in a relationship that feels more like an emotional prison everyday? That they are so wrapped up- legally (house, cars, pets) and just kind of started inching to the door recently.. does that change your mind and help you move past the awful circumstance and start to build this great new relationship?"
NO! what if the two new people get wrapped- up legally. does he/she looked to a third for comfort. a fourth, a fifth???
and in the end... who cleans up the mess??

there is a world of difference between insane and stupid


forgotforgetting 57M
8134 posts
3/31/2022 12:00 pm

It takes two to make a relationship suceed or fail. Cheating is, more likely than not, results from issues within the relationship and not a character flaw or moral failing. From a larger societal perspective, we need to rethink what we mean when we say "monogomy."

“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
― Oscar Wilde


noonerfy 64M

4/1/2022 5:09 am

I do know some who have been cheated on and it feels lousy....it is not something anyone should have to experience.


RideMeSlowly470 53M
125 posts
4/1/2022 5:10 am

Here is a scenario, tell me what would be worse "morally".

A couple are married for 20 years. The wife is diagnosed with cancer and soon treatment begins. Her husband steps up taking her to every doctor appointment, every treatment, he consults with her doctors about her condition and treatment. Like a good husband, he owns her problem. (It should be noted he is devoted and faithful to his wife).
The years go by, the wife's cancer has been in remition however it has severely damaged her spine (I am being vague and sparing ugly details), she has little use of her legs, can barely walk and uses a wheelchair.
Their relationship is very different. She relies on him, he cares for her without complaint or issue. Her condition has left her as a shell of the woman she once was. Their dynamic is nothing like it used to be.
The years go by and the husband lovingly cares for her every day. However he has lost his partner as far as the one person he could once talk to, share with, playfully banter with, rely on as a partner. Those days are gone.

The day comes when he meets a woman (single or married, it doesnt matter) who he can relate to as an adult, he can talk to, he has a friend in her....she is aware of his situation. One thing he makes clear to her is that he will never leave his wife.
Soon an affair ensues....

Is he immoral?


beejay2222 69M

4/2/2022 6:30 am

Enjoying your writing!


clitlicker1057a 62M
1 post
4/2/2022 3:43 pm

rideme

A close friend is going through that now - except his wife has severe declining dementia - I have a hard time to tell him its wrong. His wife is literally an empty shell - what is he to do ?


jajo696 113F
4287 posts
4/9/2022 4:12 pm

    Quoting RideMeSlowly470:
    Here is a scenario, tell me what would be worse "morally".

    A couple are married for 20 years. The wife is diagnosed with cancer and soon treatment begins. Her husband steps up taking her to every doctor appointment, every treatment, he consults with her doctors about her condition and treatment. Like a good husband, he owns her problem. (It should be noted he is devoted and faithful to his wife).
    The years go by, the wife's cancer has been in remition however it has severely damaged her spine (I am being vague and sparing ugly details), she has little use of her legs, can barely walk and uses a wheelchair.
    Their relationship is very different. She relies on him, he cares for her without complaint or issue. Her condition has left her as a shell of the woman she once was. Their dynamic is nothing like it used to be.
    The years go by and the husband lovingly cares for her every day. However he has lost his partner as far as the one person he could once talk to, share with, playfully banter with, rely on as a partner. Those days are gone.

    The day comes when he meets a woman (single or married, it doesnt matter) who he can relate to as an adult, he can talk to, he has a friend in her....she is aware of his situation. One thing he makes clear to her is that he will never leave his wife.
    Soon an affair ensues....

    Is he immoral?
This is not the popular way of thinking , but i think its a real way of thinking. People are living longer...that institution of marriage was for when people passed away in their 40's or 50's. Any long term marriage is done with great sacrifice on one or both parts and then comes the resentment. I truly feel marriages need to be re negotiated every 7 yrs. No shame IF people decide its not working and to dissolve and move on. Children they both love and will work out a parenting arrangement.
I always felt if one looses their libido and doesnt wanna work on it, why should the other sacrifice and suffer. Very unfair. Then some say....the vows of " till death do us part". well a shell of the person you married is a .....death.
Marriage is a legal contract and should be negotiated as such. Long post......but no...i dont think your scenario is immoral. In fact, it may make him a better husband, because he has his own outlet~~


hillzman777 46M

4/25/2022 8:41 pm

Sexy Pic! Wow!


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